My Impatience - Final Fantasy XIII

FF XIII is coming out in March 2010. Good news, I have pre-ordered it. Bad news, it is the busiest month in university. I have been waiting to play this game for such a long time. Should I say it was the last two years I have been waiting for it? After purchasing it, I have to wait until school holiday. Hopefully, it will turn out to be more than a superb game that it will be worth waiting for. Star Ocean 4: the last hope is also coming out in PS3 in February 2010. At last, Square Enix decides to make it for PS3 console. I wonder how many gamers would be pissed if Star Ocean 4 is never to be made for PS3, considering I played the 1st, 2nd, and the 3rd of this game. The good thing here is, I am going to sell my old games to purchase this one. No bad news for now since it is going to be a reading week. Well, don't worry if you don't see me during that week, I am probably busy playing this game and trying to finish it within a week.

One more year to go

This and next semesters are crucial toward my graduation. I really need to do my best in these two terms. Currently, I have been doing all good, getting almost perfect for my assignments and reading course books everyday. These days, I study almost everyday, hardly leaving myself any day for a break. I wonder, what if I had done this starting from my first year? Would I have done better? Or would it just be the same? Oh well, nothing is to be worried about by now. Eventually, I found the major that I like and I had learnt to study in hard way. I heard that trouble is good in order to train yourself to be discipline.

The problem here is that getting back to Honour program is apparently not easy, especially I am in my fourth year. Supposedly, I am a General program graduate now. But, I won't be able to claim my options and specializations if I graduate right now. Damn, I really have to do something here. All I need here is hardwork and discipline.

This is my last year here in university. I don't know what will happen after I graduate. Maybe nothing will happen, it's just I have to start finding myself a career. It will be a new life by next year. I don't want to mess it up now. Oh well, I just have to work hard right now and find myself a job after. By then, it will be a real adventure.

New Hobby - Reading Books

I have a new hobby right here. I have started to purchase and read books. Not just books assigned by professors, but I have started to read any kind of books, especially inspirational books. I just start to figure out how fun reading could be.

Lemme see, I found my new hobby during Christmas holiday last year. I had almost nothing to do after my trip back from Indonesia. I wasn't really thinking of hanging out and I wanted to be alone most of the time. I didn't really touch my game consoles and my PC. I wasn't up for anything.

Somehow in the middle, I got bored. Boredom is the most annoying thing. So I started to look around, trying to find what I can do. And, I started to read old comics, magazines, and newspapers. The most book that I read was The Art of War I purchased from Singapore. Once I got tired from reading it, I went to Chapters and started to wander around. I bought myself a book and my sisters some inspirational books.

Ever since then, I start reading when I am bored and tired from school work. Apparently, reading isn't that bad at all. This hobby took me more than twenty years to discover. Many people had suggested me to read books before. But I was being stubborn. Well, somehow, I had never understood how fun reading could be. Now, let's see how much I can read and learn from this new hobby.

Usual and Ordinary Life

School term starts again and students like me are getting busy for once again. This is my fourth year now and it is one of the most crucial times in my life. I am still trying to raise my average marks and it is quite a pain. More than that, things are getting slower and relaxed for now. Nothing interesting nor intriguing happens these days. Somehow I feel bored. I haven't really thought too much for a while now.

Oh well, maybe it is a good start for me. After living a life of adventures, I might as well take a bit of rest. Living a casual and ordinary life would help me concentrate in school. That's for now at least.

Dreams

I have a lot of dreams where my grandpa showed up these days. I could say at least four times he had appeared in my dream. They were quite pleasant ones. I could relate them to superstition as well. I mean, maybe he gave me messages. So, three of my dreams happened during the mourning period. The Taoist priest told something about my grandpa would visit family on Thursday, a day before the usual ceremony which is held every week during the mourning period. Somehow, I dreamed about him three times on Thursday. Some would argue that I am way too superstitious but I won't argue on that right now.

My first dream was on the first week of mourning. There, I heard my grandpa voice, calling out for me, telling me something, and I ran everywhere his voice guided me. I was hoping to see his face since I hadn't been home for more than a year. I arrived in a place where it was raining heavily and I saw a cyclonic water inside a hill. To me, that wasn't a happy scenery. The cloud was dark, the rain was heavy, a wet hill with a cyclonic water running inside. In the morning, I woke up from my dream and I went upstair to pray as usual. It was, apparently, raining.

My second dream was several days before I traveled back to Canada. (Long trip where your option was only sit on the plane for a day) I dreamed he gave me a scenery of a beautiful garden, just right outside his room, the place where he grew his plants and flowers. I was stunned, calling out for him, knelled down, and cried.

My third dream was in Canada. But I won't share it here. Well, it was quite a... disaster. It wasn't a bad dream, but well... let's leave it here.

The fourth one, it was after the mourning period ended. People said, the deceased goes to the after-life world/ heaven at the end of mourning period. That is the time when the deceased moves on. So, I went to sleep around 2AM on Thursday to prepare for my Friday's 8:30 AM morning class. There, I dreamed he was sitting in front of where he grew his flowers and plants. It was at night and the wind was blowing. I went outside, grabbed a chair, and sit beside him. We were talking and enjoying the night breeze. My dad soon followed, grabbed a chair and sit right in front of my grandpa. My youngest brother stood beside my dad. There, I saw my grandpa can't stop laughing while talking to us. His laughters were warm. It seems to me that he was really happy having to sit and chat with us. I was happy too. Everyone was happy in this dream. It was a really pleasant dream (I loved and enjoyed it) except I almost missed my morning class because I woke up at 9AM.

From how my dreams went, they were like chapters in a story book. The story went from raining onto a beautiful rainbow shows up. It seems that finally he has moved on and he is happy. Well, I guess it is my time to move on as well. Let him enjoy his time there while I will keep struggling with my life here. My journey is still on. I can't stop for now. I have big and ambitious goals. I still need to show what I worth.

I don't know how true could the dreams be. Some would say that I dreamed a lot about my grandpa because I thought a lot about him. On another hand, superstition would argue that he gave me those dreams. Well, I wouldn't care much. After all, a dream is a dream, and I would like to take my dreams as the messages given by him.

The 6th Week of Mourning

Today is the last day of the sixth week. Tomorrow will be the beginning of the seventh week. The mourning period will soon end.

I have come to learn many things ever since the homecoming. I've learnt more about sadness, despair, fear, death, and traditions. Not only that, after digesting the things I learnt, I came to understand more about life, love, family, and happiness. Indeed, this is my first time losing someone dear to me. The feeling is indescribable. I tried not to cry during the ceremony and this period. Because, it is his way for his men.

Somehow, ever since then, I am urging myself to grow up. I am getting more serious in what I am doing. I appreciate life more than ever. I love my family and people around me more than ever. It is kinda a feeling where I am an emerging generation, I am growing older, and I should prepare to take the responsibility for my family pretty soon.

People are aging by day, by month, and by year. Realizing this, I should do more in appreciating my moment of living. So, from here, I want to correct everything that I have done wrong. It will be different from here on. The things I learnt from then, I won't leave it to waste. I promise.