18.1.10

Usual and Ordinary Life

School term starts again and students like me are getting busy for once again. This is my fourth year now and it is one of the most crucial times in my life. I am still trying to raise my average marks and it is quite a pain. More than that, things are getting slower and relaxed for now. Nothing interesting nor intriguing happens these days. Somehow I feel bored. I haven't really thought too much for a while now.

Oh well, maybe it is a good start for me. After living a life of adventures, I might as well take a bit of rest. Living a casual and ordinary life would help me concentrate in school. That's for now at least.

16.1.10

Dreams

I have a lot of dreams where my grandpa showed up these days. I could say at least four times he had appeared in my dream. They were quite pleasant ones. I could relate them to superstition as well. I mean, maybe he gave me messages. So, three of my dreams happened during the mourning period. The Taoist priest told something about my grandpa would visit family on Thursday, a day before the usual ceremony which is held every week during the mourning period. Somehow, I dreamed about him three times on Thursday. Some would argue that I am way too superstitious but I won't argue on that right now.

My first dream was on the first week of mourning. There, I heard my grandpa voice, calling out for me, telling me something, and I ran everywhere his voice guided me. I was hoping to see his face since I hadn't been home for more than a year. I arrived in a place where it was raining heavily and I saw a cyclonic water inside a hill. To me, that wasn't a happy scenery. The cloud was dark, the rain was heavy, a wet hill with a cyclonic water running inside. In the morning, I woke up from my dream and I went upstair to pray as usual. It was, apparently, raining.

My second dream was several days before I traveled back to Canada. (Long trip where your option was only sit on the plane for a day) I dreamed he gave me a scenery of a beautiful garden, just right outside his room, the place where he grew his plants and flowers. I was stunned, calling out for him, knelled down, and cried.

My third dream was in Canada. But I won't share it here. Well, it was quite a... disaster. It wasn't a bad dream, but well... let's leave it here.

The fourth one, it was after the mourning period ended. People said, the deceased goes to the after-life world/ heaven at the end of mourning period. That is the time when the deceased moves on. So, I went to sleep around 2AM on Thursday to prepare for my Friday's 8:30 AM morning class. There, I dreamed he was sitting in front of where he grew his flowers and plants. It was at night and the wind was blowing. I went outside, grabbed a chair, and sit beside him. We were talking and enjoying the night breeze. My dad soon followed, grabbed a chair and sit right in front of my grandpa. My youngest brother stood beside my dad. There, I saw my grandpa can't stop laughing while talking to us. His laughters were warm. It seems to me that he was really happy having to sit and chat with us. I was happy too. Everyone was happy in this dream. It was a really pleasant dream (I loved and enjoyed it) except I almost missed my morning class because I woke up at 9AM.

From how my dreams went, they were like chapters in a story book. The story went from raining onto a beautiful rainbow shows up. It seems that finally he has moved on and he is happy. Well, I guess it is my time to move on as well. Let him enjoy his time there while I will keep struggling with my life here. My journey is still on. I can't stop for now. I have big and ambitious goals. I still need to show what I worth.

I don't know how true could the dreams be. Some would say that I dreamed a lot about my grandpa because I thought a lot about him. On another hand, superstition would argue that he gave me those dreams. Well, I wouldn't care much. After all, a dream is a dream, and I would like to take my dreams as the messages given by him.

10.1.10

The 6th Week of Mourning

Today is the last day of the sixth week. Tomorrow will be the beginning of the seventh week. The mourning period will soon end.

I have come to learn many things ever since the homecoming. I've learnt more about sadness, despair, fear, death, and traditions. Not only that, after digesting the things I learnt, I came to understand more about life, love, family, and happiness. Indeed, this is my first time losing someone dear to me. The feeling is indescribable. I tried not to cry during the ceremony and this period. Because, it is his way for his men.

Somehow, ever since then, I am urging myself to grow up. I am getting more serious in what I am doing. I appreciate life more than ever. I love my family and people around me more than ever. It is kinda a feeling where I am an emerging generation, I am growing older, and I should prepare to take the responsibility for my family pretty soon.

People are aging by day, by month, and by year. Realizing this, I should do more in appreciating my moment of living. So, from here, I want to correct everything that I have done wrong. It will be different from here on. The things I learnt from then, I won't leave it to waste. I promise.

28.12.09

Homecoming

(written on December 1st 2009)

sittin' in the coffee shop
chillin' with my iced cappucino
wanderin' inside my head
waitin' for my flight back to hometown

another homecoming, yet different
another meeting, yet different

the meeting between two worlds
the meeting between two men

it is close yet it is distant
it is distant yet it is close

never had I thought of this day
never had I prepared to meet in this way
yet fate has brought us together
on the day I treasure

the twenty-eighth of November
it is the day I was born
it is the day you walked away
it is a rainy day yet it is coloured by rainbow

this day, I will always remember
never had I said this in front of you
I hope it is not yet too late to say it now
"I love you gramp
You will always be remembered
Have a safe journey"

Your grandson
jqL

5.11.09

B.L.O.G

I always wonder..."why does people write a blog..?"

Most blogs that I've read are mostly complaints and something really sad... or something really emo -__-''
Why would people want to let other people to know how they feel though blog?
Instead of telling them yourself, you act as if nothing happens and then wrote everything on the blog ... which is kinda funny for me =p

...but recently, after reading Isis's blog, I get some new perspective on blogs.. I guess =p I found out that blog can be motivational too...
Maybe it's not always negative... Let's find something interesting to write, something cheerful... aspiring... fun for people to read ^__^
Instead of remembering the negative things that happens, we can always look at the bright side once in awhile...
I'm sure there's a silver lining in everything~ (hopefully there is~)

So... since Botak already added me to the list... I figured I might as well write something here =p
This will be my first blog... ever! =p