Some questions that sometimes come to my mind are such as:
"Why do people apologize?"
"Why don't people apologize?"
"Why some people wouldn't apologize even when they are wrong?"
and
"Why some people would still apologize even when they aren't doing anything wrong?"
I start surfing internet and finding quotes as my first research into the theme "apology." There are many different opinions from people around the world. Some says apologizing is important and some says apologizing isn't a good idea. I wonder, which one is correct? to apologize or not to apologize?
From how I was raised, I should apologize when I do mistakes and hurt others' feeling. From my perspective, apology may be the quickest or the slowest tool ever to fix relationship with someone I harm. Personally, I believe that apology is important when one wants to maintain his/her relationship with others, and the delivery of an apology should be sincere. Sincerity plays important role for other to see how truthful we suffer from our wrongdoings to them and how we want to reconnect with them.
When someone doesn't apologize, it might look like he/she doesn't care about the relationship anymore. But, does that always the case? Apparently, some people don't want to apologize because they don't want hurt their own pride. (need citation) Some people choose to maintain their pride by not apologizing. Yet, I think this isn't a wise thought. After experiencing many things in my life, I come to believe that pride isn't the only thing we need in this world; it is not the most glorious trait ever too. Pride is based ego, yet reputation may make someone a divine. They aren't the same. Especially sometimes pride/ego may fool one into misunderstanding the fundamental concepts behind human relationship.
In relationship, it is important to take care of each other's feelings. Feelings are fragile, they are metaphorically a glass. Once it is broken, it is hard to repair. Even with the gluing, there are cracks and scars left over on the glass. When problems occur, apology can be one of the most important tools for preventing the glass from breaking further. As I have mentioned in the earlier post, mouth is one of the most important sense and it is simple to use. I don't see the difficulty in saying a word "sorry."
Offending people usually leaves scars in their brain and heart. It is dangerous especially when the hatred peaks. Human can do roughly anything when he/she lost control of the hatred. Especially, some people may take more offense when no apology is delivered by the ones that do mistakes. Without apology, the harmed ones may think that they have been looked down so bad that no one cares about what they really feel. They may sometimes feel that they are just simply a trash in the garbage bin; they can be spat on and ruled over. This feeling is dangerous because hatred grows from it. It won't be long before outburst when sincere apology is never delivered. How awful can the hatred outburst be? I suppose the end of relationship may be one of the awful things. Worst comes to worst, physical abuse may occur. Hatred often leads to madness in the end.
Yet, some people apologize a lot. Sometimes they also apologize when they don't commit anything wrong. Thus, I start to wonder, why they do so? I first thought it would be stupid to apologize when one doesn't do anything wrong. It is because one might also be looked down because he/she apologizes too much. Because, now people may see he/she as a weak and harmless person. However, somehow from some events in my life, I start to understand why these people do so. I might as well be one of these people, ones who apologize when they don't do anything wrong.
I let go of my ego for a while now, I try to maintain good relationship with people. I say sorry when I am not wrong. I understand why I do so. It is not because I am weak and harmless; it is more because I care about the relationship. When a relationship is broken, apology doesn't have anymore effect on anything; it will no longer solve anything and hold any relationship together. I choose to have some people look down on me and I apologize. It is also because I know that only the wise can see the truth behind the delivering of apology when not doing anything wrong. To me, it is more like saying "let me take the blame, let me be the one to do the mistake, because I care about our relationship above this conflict of ours."
Personally, I know that it might be one of the hardest thing to apologize when you are not doing anything wrong. I was a man with ego and high pride. But somehow along the way, things changed and I start to care about the relationship I have with people around me. People do mistakes and hurt one another. Using logic, if everyone doesn't apologize for what he/she had done wrong, there will be no mutual understanding and love created in this world. Everyone might as well be against and harm one another.
Thus, apology is one of the important tools for one to consider when one wants to repair relationship. It is only when one no longer cares about the relationship then he/she will not deliver any apology. It is also important to remember that it takes two sides to agree on each other, as it takes two hands to clap. Apology can't just always be delivered by one side. It sometimes takes two sides to apologize for each other's mistakes in maintaining relationship. Yet, some people never seem to understand this concept. I still wonder why people tend to apologize to and forgive each other right before they close their eyes and sleep in eternity. I wonder why people can't apologize just right when they do mistake. I believe we don't need to build a mountain of mistakes and then ask for a forgiveness just right before the mountain explodes. It is better late than never apologize, unless one doesn't care about the relationship anymore.
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