one of these days...

I want to get out of here...
Get me outta this place...

so many useless bullshit drama occur 24/7 as if its live cnn
so sick of it
wanna get out
wanna get out
wanna get out
wanna get out
wanna get out

one of these days...im gon be outta here

November

it is almost the month
the month where everything starts
where both cries and smiles were born
her smiles and her happiness
surrounded the tiny me

I still remember
November used to be the month
when enemies were scared
when the hatred was born deep inside them
when genius was down on the floor
when hardship was paid off

oh moon,
please stay by my side
lemme repeat the history
lemme stay as their greatest terror
lemme me show the world
what I made of

and moon,
lemme tell you what
I found the determination
it is back
just about time
I will be all out
for once again

and please lemme forget
the melody of
November's chopin

Let me howl, let me howl
because after all,
I am just a lone avenger

mixed

Apparently, after several of experiments and observations done on myself
I have come to this conclusion....

If you ever have a party and have to write a test on the day after (let's say party until 3 AM and midterm at 8:30 AM) 4 hours before the exam
this might help:

Alcohol + Caffeine
for example, my favourite vodka redbull,
or the infamous beer then coffee (beer is harder option for me because of the farting session after, I don't know about you guys)

why do I say so? so many times because of these drinks, I woke up at 7 AM and won't be able to go back to sleep for a day, but feel very fresh, fully charged, like redbull in the matador
Some of my friends, which were parts of my experimental guinea pigs had also confirmed that they woke up around the same time and felt so fresh....
(I might be scientist too because I found out new stuff)

But, remember this,
some people had told me that alcohol and caffeine are the roots to cardiac arrest (def: heart attack, sakit jantung, sin ciong pe). They said you might die because of it
so, only if you think you have a strong heart and you dare to take this chance, then go ahead and drink this
otherwise, please don't sleep too late that you might not be able to wake early in the morning and do whatever you should do

I don't taunt anyone of having a weaker heart than mine (I mean I took so many risks already but good think He still let me enjoy the sight of full moon,
thank you for that my Friend)

It is like when you play dotA, you use Centaur Warchief with great vitality and keep using the Double Edge move (which minus 400 of your hp and enemy's at the same time)
For non-gamer, this means alcohol + caffeine may reduce your lifetime in this world as well
so, please check with doctor or read the article from google as well if you happen to like this mixed drink as well

thank you very much and I should go to class right now
bye bye

Dance4Life

1 more month...

World AIDS Day - 1st December
Started in 1988 - now 2008, almost 20 years

and I remember the song for AIDS

Ireove

"Of course this word [ireove] exists ! hahaha, I made this word *my masterpiece
The first word I created, and probably will never be written down in any dictionary..."
Posted by jql in August.

Well, guess what... ireove is now in a dictionary :)

Horror Stuff

Monster in Silent Hill:Homecoming called Needler, but I have nicknamed him "C**k Head, as you can clearly see why

6:30 Am in the morning. I've just finished the movie Stay Alive that involves you trying to survive a video game. Before that, I finished watching Stephen King's The Mist, and also the English version of Mirrors. Lately, I've been having a fascination in horror. All of the horror movies I've seen have almost the same plot. There is a haunted place or some vengeful ghosts seeking revenge. Its all cliche, but hell, it keeps you on the edge of your seat. Video games with terrific horror elements get me going. Games like Resident Evil, Silent Hill, and Fatal Frame are possibly a few out of a larger variety of horror games that can captivate people. In Resident Evil, you have to survive and blast your way through the living undead. In Silent Hill, your true nightmares awaken when you're stuck in a mysterious town and have to face creatures you would have never expected, and finally, in Fatal Frame, you basically take pictures of freaky ass ghosts that randomly pop up in places. Each of these games have that one perfect horror element that keeps you playing and playing and wanting some more. It's kinda got me in this mood to write something, like a story. I mean, I've always tried to think of stuff to write but I keep getting writers block. Maybe if I listen to the right music and proceed at the correct moment, maybe I'll cook up something ingenious. Shit, it may take a while though...I have so many fragmented thoughts right now.

So, Halloween is coming up soon. I miss the good old days of trick-o-treating. Free candy was nice, but there was some ocassions where you'd get a fruit or some other pathetic thing like that. I mean come on, fruit? I got a ton of fruit at home. But the best part I think, is called Devil's Night, and I believe that is before Halloween. You go around doing mischief things I think...like throwing toilet paper in trees and throwing eggs and people's cars and shit. Heheh....

But yeah, just wanted a shout. BTW, I did not know Itachi died. **** what have I been missing??????? -_____-V. Oh, word of advice, do play Silent Hill: Homecoming at night. Trust me...it'll be a much...better experience...heh....

My Hero

(To JQL

I never said Heros are stupid. I said Renji just doesnt seem to....nevermind.
Thats not the point)

I still have my hero. Back then when I was young it used to be Batman, Ultraman, Bioman, Flashman etc..

But as I grew up I found out that #1. They are Japanese...(I always thought they were korean since they spoke korean in Korea hahahaha)
#2. They are humans wearing Tights...not just any tights...Tight tights. sometimes Leather tights..

This was reality and heros did dissapear out of my life. It was the same experience for me for christmas. When I first moved here, Santa didnt bother giving me any presents, I was wondering why and then found out that Santa was racist in Canada. Jk. All these years you thought it was Santa but ended up being my parents. I would say that was a big dissapointment. Now I think about it, I thank them. It mustve been real hard to sneak in the present and place it while I was deep asleep so I wouldnt wake up. I dont need to explain anything right? enough said. That means ALOT.

So I can proudly say that my hero now is my father. Although my hero doesnt have special powers, his way of life was much more meaningful than batman's or super tighty Ultraman.

superstardom

lists of childhood heroes:
1. power rangers




2. Spiderman








3. Wolverine





4. Kamen Rider RX







and many more
(not mentioning SailorMoon and Cardcaptor Sakura)



.
.
.
.



then, years passed, today superhero:


Abarai Renji










T_T
people said this hero is lame
(especially X and Secret)
used bankai every single time but still lost
I think my chosen heroes have become lamer
but it's okay since I am achieving the superstardom

KEEP HOWLING ZABIMARU !

Note: these pictures are definitely not my property, I just googled it..

trust

random:

I have no intention of getting into troubles
but, many times I was dragged into troubles
why? I don't know...
if you call it fate, I say "up to you"
---------------------------------------------
I have changed
trust this too
bombastic before
now becoming ocean
---------------------------------------------
Full of fire trait before
I kept burning and burning
Now learning how to be water
silent assassination
---------------------------------------------
let the game of mind starts
I will be waiting here
sitting and thinking the next steps
my steps to victory
---------------------------------------------
parents said, don't play with fire
also don't swim too far away
then, rather than letting the game start
some might want to leave the fire and water alone
--------------------------------------------
this is a good intention of mine
yet, as I say,
some people never really understand
about the boundaries

aeraxciaz

what about wondering? curiosity?
is it a good trait?
because the prosperity that humans are enjoying today are because of curiosity leading to new discoveries
or is it a bad trait?
because they say: "curiosity killed the cat"

I have always been curious ever since young
But, many times, I have to learn many things by myself too
and
many times parents put restrictions on their kids
of what they should learn and what they should not learn
same as
medias control what getting into our ears

Is it wrong if we defy our parents restrictions and learn what we are not supposed to learn?
is it wrong if we want to know more about what medias restrict us from knowing?
Should the restrictions be the barriers of learning/getting more experiences?
or I could say,
Should I blame the forbidden fruit?
Or should I question even more about why human being so curious?

Before I blame the forbidden fruit, please let me ask myself:

(A) is it because Adam and Eve had eaten the forbidden fruit
then the curiosity trait was passed down to us? I mean, is the curiosity trait came from the forbidden fruit?

or

(B) is it human's trait from the very beginning and forbidden fruit was not the cause?

Let's say A is true, then I have no more wonder, and I will stop asking
but if B is supposedly true, will I become even more a sinner because I will question more?
something like, why the forbidden fruit was placed there if it was not meant for human to eat it?
many many questions
as, should I keep following their rules for the rest of my life? or should I start walking by myself and create my own rules?

but probably I would not get the answer to this question
during my lifetime
then, because of this, should I stop questioning? since the probability of knowing about the forbidden fruit is very unlikely?

or should I keep asking? defying? striving?
anyway, too many questions, head's hurt,
damn, I just want a simple life
but I don't even understand why this mind of mine
never stop asking
and defying

and again

is it a good trait?
or is it a bad trait?

mother nature, please let me stuck in this question, so I might stop asking about other else.. thank you

I must be...

I must be getting old,
When I get hungry, I worry about how Im goin' to support a family in the future rather than supporting my stomach :(

I must be getting old,
When certain things happen, I worry about the consequences. I fear karma and I fear myself. I am afraid to see myself in a puzzle of troubles. I rather read a book. :)

I must be getting old,
I pee way too many times = ="

I must be getting old,
I start to understand my parents as time passes by. I understand the big WHYs I was always curiuos about.

I must be getting old,
I miss my old friends...the good ones and the bad. I want them in my life again because life is way too short if you think about it yea? ; )

I must be getting old,
I want to share my experiences with younger ones and tell them "how back in the days used to roll..."


I must be getting old,
I do not want to do anything that will disgrace my father's name and the familys reputation.

I must be getting old...
but it feels good knowing that im aging with the people i care and love

I must be getting old...
because I sometimes get scared by the thought of losing the people around me in this journey of life... everyone has to go someday but.......I must be getting old... but not old enough...

But I really must be getting old because I just deleted couple of my posts by accident... ARGGGGGGG

surprisingly...

when I checked my calendar last night:
here is what I found out

today party night,
tomorrow morning apparently midterm

T_T

thanksgiving

Happy Belated Thanksgiving!!
supposedly study at home
these 4 days, drink 2 days
sick 1 day
in the need of recuperation
yesterday, drink again
and tomorrow is Asian Night at Fubar
gonna drink again

midterm today, somehow abruptly written
when checking the book, many corrects
hopefully get good mark
(Om ma ne pad me hum)
so that tomorrow drinking is a celebration
cheers for this semester!!

upgrade

ireove.com is now supporting the "green" world
and soon enough, there is another blog in progress
I just have to finish my masterplan before introducing it to you guys

thank you for your supports until now,
which me and fellow writers appreciate a lot

values

same thing, can't sleep
so decide to write
I wanna talk about values
what values most appreciated by me?

first, I like people with "hardworking" value,
as Thomas Alva Edison said, "99% hardworking, 1% genius"
I had done that before, in the most wonderful way
most of my friends, they look down on me when it comes to academic stuffs
I was not doing really good on academic standing
I didn't even care about going to university or college
anything was fine for me
going back to Medan or whatsoever

but, the thing was, I looked at UW for a reason
old story, but yeah...
I said "I want to be there"
I studied, coffee every night
slept at 6am, woke up at 8am everyday
and you know what, first time I got 100 on final exam
perfectly done, I thank my teacher, Mr. Sheridan
he saw it, when I was taking English class, I didn't study
but when I took his history class, he saw me, determined
then, one day, me and Arnold having supper downstair
I got a mail, I opened it, UW said "Congratulations bla bla"
I can't sleep, happiness surrounded me

"hardship is the value that one should carry in order to show the world that he is not bluffing"

next, the value of "not underestimating your enemy"
I learned it from the game, Romance of three kingdoms,
Sun Tzu said,

"if you know yourself and your enemy, then you will win. If you know yourself but not your enemy, then it is 50-50. If you know not even yourself or your enemy, lost is the outcome"

I had this experience, I started playing chess in grade 9
I joined competition, and one of my friends, he was jokingly playing with me
in a competition, and I won
he underestimated me, and I was 16 best out of at least 200 people
what you think?

that's all

wait

27 minutes before next class. I'm stuck here in the library
actually there are things to do, such as assignments...
but currently too tired for that
such time is wasted
for waiting
still learning how to be patient
and I just know that patient really means "to suffer"

if to wait = to be patient
and to be patient = to suffer
then to wait = to suffer

oh, and I really do have fun in konja as well...
such an investigator (not mentioning stalker)
sitting down in corner
looking at the primary angel
if you know what I mean

so many events coming up
but I should stay focus on studying
study first then party
wait first then strike
suffer first then wasted
(still suffer)
row the boat first before swim to the shore
(or in Indonesian "berakit-rakit ke hulu, berenang-renang ke tepian")

anyway, that's all for the boredom
oh, after saying the Indonesian, I remember my favourite line
that everyone hates
"no fish, shrimp also okay"
(tak ada ikan, udang pun jadi)
they said, shrimp is more expensive than fish, but whatever, since the line is made.. why not just stick with it?
this line basically means, if plan A fails then comes plan B
never give up and keep going
til the end of breath - hopefully not because of too much smoke inside lovely lungs
(my friends described me as "a soccer player with the most passion, but no skill !!"

(for teams who had ever accepted me in the past, sorry if you guys just found it out today, I think I might be the best at cheerleading when playing, basically just shout, "we will win" but never kick the ball right on spot, well, no luck, never win gambling)
(and if the ball falls on the right spot, it is wind and the ball's in good position when arriving at my foot)
(sorry again mates)
(I've learned how to kick the ball for so long now, but just as my friends said "no skill !!")

class in 2 minutes
bye

rewind

I plug in my earphones everywhere

listening to my own songs
ignoring the surroundings
one time, I opened up my iTunes
seemed to me that so many songs had disappeared
covered with curiosity, I turned on my external hd
everything is still there, waiting to be listened again

even my Linkin Park's album
three of them: Hybrid Theory, Reanimation, and Meteora. All were there.
so, I transferred them to my iTunes

damn nice!
all this time, I have forgotten about these albums
then, I plugged in my earphones
and I was forced to follow the rewinding to the past
so many memories were brought back

yeah, Linkin Park has been my most favourite band up until now starting from when they made their debut in 2000!!!

I would like to review their albums, one by one:

This album, Hybrid Theory (2000) to me, was the best of all their albums
Songs like Point of Authority, Pushing Me Away, With You, In the End, Papercut, and Cure for the Itch are this album's best songs. Other songs are wonderful as well. I guess, this album is good for releasing the pain inside minds and hearts. A lot of memories from this album. Friendships, love, and vengeance were parts of this album.

Reanimation, released 2002, has background and pictures of "gundam"??
the songs from Hybrid Theory is "reanimated" and more electronic sounds were added into them by Mr. Hahn. I listened to this album mostly when I played my PS1, the game was Legend of Legaia 1. When I bought this album, it was a cassette. Seems like time ages so fast that there is no time for heading back.


Meteora, released 1 year after Reanimation. I don't know why they used the picture of a person spraying a fragrance. The first video for "Somewhere I belong" really shows that they are crazy about Gundam. Hit the Floor, Breaking the Habit, Numb, Faint, and Lying From You were the songs that I listened the most. Apparently, near to the end of grade 10, Don't Stay made appearance to my life. This song accompanied my hard time.

These are the forgotten albums from Indonesia. All are in form of cassettes. And if you asked me how I can convert the songs from cassettes to mp3 or sth. Isn't it obvious? I don't need to convert the songs, everyone knows the name of the technology.

Anyway, these are the crazy albums of Linkin Park. Their latest album, Minutes to Midnight (2007) is tested, people said it is the declining of their rocking era. The songs have gone softer than the ones before. But I still keep some songs from this album in my pockets. Songs such as Given Up, Hands Held High, Valentine's Day, What I've Done, and In Pieces. I bought this album on the day it was released as well(15-5-2007) I thought I gotta line up at store to purchase it, but apparently I didn't need to (well, I was disappointed for no line up)

There are still many of Linkin Park's songs; the underground. But, I haven't been listening to their underground songs. Only one that I like the most, "qwerty". You guys might want to listen to this one.

Anyway, this is the review of Linkin Park's albums and songs.
I love Linkin Park, it is the band that has been with me since 2000 until now, 8 years now. Their songs walked along with me and I think their songs played some roles in building some parts of me today. I guess so..

Thank You, Linkin Park ! ! !

I would really like to put up their songs on my blog, but I guess by doing that, I will have all writers and readers faint while trying to write or read. So, I will leave it like this. Anyway, I'm going back to study.

awakening (feel my vibe)

school stuffs haven't been going well lately..
parents went home today..
here I sit in the lab again..
listening to "element of life"

cramming..
aiming for perfection..
while knowing that perfection is such a disease..
that being perfect is another dead end to improvement..

stuffs haven't been going well lately
body's tired
mind's beat
too many activities

assignments are tons
exams are not waiting
now is the time
to get the logic back

awakening of mind
releasing vibes
(have to study 13x)
this week is hell
straight 4 duedates
as I have just won 649

feet please don't fail me now
let me walk this path
the path of craziness
to the destination sunshine
amen

Why So Serious

Why would i be mad?
If people around me would be affected.
Why would I cry?
If all they do is to pity me.


Therefore I smile,
To hide the pain that I took,
To hide the truth that should not be told,

And........

To forget her.


I can do this alone.

Pain You Can't Fight

Oh god, won't show me,
directions to the cemetary.
This storm's full of rage, and won't seem to back up off me.
Though I need to escape, I need to proceed,
It's too damn cold, my heart's in a freeze.
When you're pissed you've got fire,
In a storm? it's a tease.
Still I have mercy,
And rest in false peace.




It's so much easier to walk the path of pieces, yet so much harder to walk the path of peace. Bet some of you didn't know that.

Dogs...

A puppy was brought to a small village to his new owner.
It wiggled his tail to everyone in the village. He was always happy and appreciated the fact that he was loved by the owner and the people.

He would follow the owner wherever it may be, in the rain or even in the snow. He was the happiest dog in the world.

They say Dog's lives revolve around us. It is said that even in pain, as long as we're there, nothing else mattered to them.

Time passed by and the dog aged.
As shocking as it sounds people in the village wanted to eat him now that he is fully grown.
Shocking thing is that even the owner took part of this cruel act.
He smacked his head making him uncautious.
He then threw him into a boiling pot of water.

...

But from the hot water the dog woke up.
From the shock he fought his way back out of the pot.
He then saw his owner standing there with the bat.

The dog wiggled his tail and nothing else mattered...he was happy

*Dogs are more loyal than humans. I wonder why people treat them like trash.

Think again

Somewhere in this world there is a young man who lives with his mother. He carries a rare disease which holds a shape of round tumor-like bumps all over the body and face. He was only in his 20s. It was even hard to tell the gender of that young man due to the severe symptoms.

His spinal cord was out of place making him disabled to do everyday chores. As he walked with his slouched back he looked really discomforted and was in pain as he took his steps.

I do not know the name of this disease but it is very rare, and unfortuantely he has received this rare disease from his mother.
She too was suffering by the same disease. She says it hurts her more than anything to see her son inherit her rare disease.

What do we wish for in our 20s? I wish for good grades, getting rich, meeting a good girlfriend...wanting to have nice things etc.. Im sure most of people agree.

This young man had a different wish.

"I wish one day, I could carry my mother on my very own back and walk to places with my own strength"

This is a true story,
So what are you complaining about?
We tend to forget that there are people out there who are in much worse condition than us. We always think that our problem is the greatest problem in the world.
So lets think twice and appreciate what we have and let us not take anything for granted.

-X