Parts of Me

Everything we do carves our road to the future. The road, or path, then interdependent from our actions - daily activities to crucial decision. This path of ours then lead us to the justification from community of whether we are good or bad. For myself, I have been walking paths of madness. Many interesting events (or what my friends would address as "drama") have taken place in my life. Of many paths that I can choose, I have always tried my best to stay in what people call "the good one". Some people who met me from before, they gave me an opinion about me saying that I can either be a super good guy or a super bad evil. There is nothing as ordinary for me these people said. I didn't really want to believe such thing because it might cause a placebo effect.

But then, recently, I have been so obsessed with reading war and power books, leaving my philosophical books behind. Every action I did, I somehow calculate it even further, afraid if I made mistake. Thinking become my priority and somehow I am becoming evil. I realized this before long when my friend addresses my actions have changed and become more evil.

Now, Confucius talked about how a thought without a moral can become a disastrous weapon. I somehow think I am lack of moral to study those war and power books. There is indeed a difference between a genius and a mad man. I am turning into a mad man.

Oh well, at least, at the bright side, my friend addressed the problems to me and I start to change to the way I used to know. I think I don't need to read these books first. I have to firstly learn more about morality before I should know these warfare thoughts. As Confucius might have studied Sun Tzu's thoughts, he said only "if I fight, I conquer". To me, it means that Confucius knew how to deploy tactics really well, it is just that because he didn't want conflict to happen, then he chose to be peaceful.

I guess I am back to my sense now. I wouldn't imagine what I would become if I don't realize my change by now. Good thing that I can still turn back.